Ordeal mind

Spine-chilling silence.

Freezing cold breeze.

Deep dark night.

Her footsteps made a loud imprint on the flaky mud.

There were rocks, glass pieces, shells and what not.

The hypnotic sea shore dragged her towards itself.

Waves filled to her knee-length, but she kept walking into the deep waters.

Eyes wide open, she could feel the water flowing in her breath, she just couldn’t move enough, as if she was paralyzed.

The beauty of the blues was astonishing but her mind was still wavering.

The nightmare couldn’t stop her thoughts.

Or should I call it the drug that caused her nightmares?

She wasn’t really on any prescription medication to get such traumatizing thoughts.

She could feel the land under her foot in a split second.

A voice echoed “Sri is no more. He met with an accident.”

She cried her heart out and opened her eyes forcefully.

It was 5.00 AM. And yes it was all a nightmare.

She stepped out to grab a glass of water.

“You woke up so early? You said you need not go to college until external exams begin right? Is everything okay?” Her mother was amused by her act because her usual daytime begins only after 8 even on a working day.

“Yes mom, I happened to see the worst nightmare ever.”

“What was it?”

“I saw that something happened to Sri. Something really bad.”

“Don’t think about it much. Just let it be. And I told you-you’ll be fine once you stop overthinking about every minute thing.”

“Ya, okay”

Nothing on this planet could stop her thoughts from designing a daily marathon of which one should be the reason for her sleepless nights.

Her mind resumed as soon as she got onto to her bed.

Do I really overthink?

Should I confess things to that person?

Or would I be sounding desperate?
Will I be able to finish all the work before the submission next week?

I have finished all of it, the analysis and write-ups. But what about corrections can they be made proper?

Did I recheck on every saved document?

Did I forget to lock the door?

Should I be locking it again, just in case?

Why can’t I just fly off to someplace and Never come back?

Do I really need a partner for life or just an FWB relation?

I don’t think I really need any shitty headaches so I rule out the partner for a lifetime.

I just need someone to talk to or share my opinions about the mysteries of the world, nature, talk about how the universe works.

Na I don’t think anyone would be interested to talk about that stuff.

Maybe it’s all on my mind.

I just don’t belong here.

Or…

“Sam, Enough of the thinking now go and get some groceries. And take up your dance classes again. I cannot tolerate or trust your silence. So keep yourself busy with something or the other.”

“Okay, maa.”

 

-VSR

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